Wearing a Robot Costume for Halloween

In theory, going as a robot is a really cool idea. In practice, though, it’s a pretty crappy Halloween costume. It would seem that the robot would be a natural in the pantheon of classic Halloween characters alongside the vampire, the ghost, the witch and the t-shirt that reads “This is my costume.” It isn’t and for good reason. Although awesome in concept, the execution of the robot costume is rife with problems:

1. You really don’t look that much like a robot. I’ve seen plenty of robots on TV and none of them are built from cardboard boxes and aluminum foil. If it isn’t either a) covered with lights and gauges that go beep boop clickita clickita, or b) sleek, smooth and nearly perfect in its representation of the human form, you look more like the stockroom at Kroger than Killbot ZX9000.
2. Limited radius of movement. Stiff cardboard wrapped around your legs, arms, torso, and head has a tendency to restrict the independence of the aforementioned body parts. Very few Olympic track and field medalists wear uniforms crafted from the box the water heater came in.
3. Real robots don’t cry when they get knocked down and kicked in the stomach by kids in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle costumes. No matter how hard you worked on it, you’re still an 11-year-old pansy whose parents didn’t buy him a costume.

The ruling: A robot costume, sadly, is not awesome.